Part 22: 5/5: We're Gonna Get Kicked Out Of This Buffet

Part 21: 5/5: We're Gonna Get Kicked Out Of This Buffet

Time to celebrate.

Music: Alright





Of course it’s good. This is a famous hotel, after all. Oh yeah, I heard that the police are coming to interview some people at school.
That’s troublesome.
Our names are gonna come up for sure. People’re spreadin’ all sorts of rumors about us and Kamoshida… But we got ‘em pumped up! I keep hearin’ stuff like, “The Phantom Thieves really stole his heart!” I think most people don’t believe it, but some of them actually seem grateful.




“Well done, Phantom Thieves”… “Now I can keep going too”… “Thank you for giving us hope”...
Pretty cool, huh?
I was just desperate to deal with my own problems, but seeing people saying all this feels… strange.
Yeah… Hey… What do we do now?



Huh?







A short while later...




Now, where should I start?
And she’s all about the cake...



Hey. Calories.

Ryuji delivers this line in his best “ain’t I a stinker?” voice.



How much do you think one of these costs!? I’ll never get the chance to do this again!

I mean, you are a model.

Mmm, the Wilton Hotel cake buffet… I’d heard rumors, but I never thought it’d be so amazing!
And… where’s our share?
I didn’t really know what you’d want… So I just grabbed you some beans.
B-Beans?
There were some pretty bizarre things there too, so we got you a variety of those. Fried bananas, preserved eggs, and… some kind of beans.
M-More beans…?
We put so much on the plate that it got all mixed up, but it should probably still taste good.



See that yellow monstrosity Morgana’s looking at? Yeah, that’s us.

Let’s go, Maaku. These two just don’t know what fine dining means! We’ll show them!




You guys watch our things while we’re gone! Wait patiently for our return!



I’d just like to point out that Ann seems to have grabbed an entire pie.



They’re not even listening...

Music: My Homie



The ingredients and variety of dishes are crazy good. There’s a reason it costs 8,000 yen. They have a lot here… but fish should come first! Let’s fill our plate with all sorts of fish. Which table do you think they’re at…?

We can now roam the small area in front of us in search of buffet food.



I’d prefer it raw, but grilled is great too!

You sure you’re not a cat?

Have you heard, my dear? The news about that Kamoshida fellow was absolutely dreadful.
Ah, right. That teacher at Shujin Academy, caught doing such indecent acts. Shameful, really.
Hold on a sec...

Here we come to the real purpose of this gameplay segment: more goddamn eavesdropping!

And they still haven’t managed to solve those horrible psychotic breakdown episodes, have they? I wish they wouldn’t let themselves be distracted by such a tawdry scandal.
Perhaps it’s a sign of how peaceful this country is. I honestly pity those poor Shujin students though.
Huh. It sounds like the Kamoshida incident is the talk of the town.
Hm?
Shoot, they noticed you! Just grab some food and act natural! On the plus side, we’ll get to eat the food later.
Tsk, how did a child like this end up in here? I certainly hope he didn’t bring friends. I prefer my meals to remain hooligan-free, thank you very much. Come, let us go.
What’s so bad about kids coming to enjoy a buffet…? Hm, I wonder how the other people here are reacting to the news. Let’s get some more food and listen in.




Yes, our new goal is to go table-to-table eavesdropping on folks to get information about their thoughts on Kamoshida. Maaku’s a pretty weird guy.



...Ah. I got distracted.

Over here, we find the dessert table.

News travels quick. It’s already all over the internet. You know, the story about how Kamoshida got his ass kicked by some world-reforming hereos...
It doesn’t sound like a serious story to me. Some of the details are pretty far-fetched.

This is a conversation between an IT Company President, and a… Reliable Woman. What makes her reliable? How do they know each other? These are mysteries lost to time.

Don’t worry about it. We just have to do what they tell us to do. It’s all rumors made up by school kids, anyway. If it’s gripping news, who cares if it’s not true?
So they don’t believe themselves, but they’re making up stories to make the Phantom Thieves seem real… ...And they’re doing this in front of the actual Phantom Thieves.
Hm?
Whoa! Act fast, and get some food! And make sure it’s got a lot of whipped cream.
What’s wrong?
Ah, nothing. I thought some weird kid was looking at us, that’s all. Why don’t we go? It’s almost time for the meeting.
Well, that was rude. Did you hear him? He said you were weird. Hm, I wonder how the other people here are reacting to the news. Let’s get some more food and listen in.



Rice is incredible! It’s the cornerstone of every great meal! ...Sorry. I got a bit carried away there.
So the ratings for the news were really that good? It was because it was about that teacher who sexually harassed his student, huh? Was it Kamoshida?
It’s all about how you frame it. You’ve got to cater to the idiot public. Ratings go up when you show them crude, sensational news, and make it easy for them to understand.

This time, it’s Fancy Girl and TV Station President. I’m noticing a pattern here.

How can he be so insensitive? A student almost killed herself because of that Kamoshida...
By the way, do you think these “sudden changes of heart” might be real?
Well, that’s-- Hmm…?
Quick, grab some food! Oh, and don’t forget the crispy bits!

Doing this LP is making me hungry.

So because he had a sudden change of heart, he just confessed to all his crimes?
Haha, who knows? Sorry, but it’s time. I have to go. I’ll call you again after the meeting.
A sudden change of heart, huh? I suppose I can’t blame him for seeing it that way.



Finally, we head over to the meat table.

Ah, meat! I’m no Ryuji, but a meal is just not the same if you don’t have any-- ...I got distracted.

...When you really look at it, he’s just an ex-athlete who overestimated himself. He should have just accepted his lot in life and quietly done his job as a teacher.
It’s not even an incident we can take seriously. The whole story is pretty ridiculous. We should probably look into it, but we can also just let the low-ranking scrubs handle it.

This time, two subordinates are having a chat.

Look into…? I guess they’re investigating Kamoshida? They don’t sound very enthusiastic about it though.
Hmm?
Gah, grab some food! Ah, get the part that’s not too fatty!
He’s going to be arriving soon. We don’t want to keep him waiting, so we better get going too.
What is he going to discuss with the higher-ups? Well, I’m sure it’s more important than lunch.
They were dressed quite well, but they still looked pretty shady to me. I don’t think there’s anyone else we can listen in on. But it’s shocking… So many of the adults here don’t seem like nice people.

That’s YA fiction for ya. Depending on how charitable your comparisons are this game could be considered downright subtle in that regard.

Now, according to what we heard… It seems most adults aren’t very interested in the news about Kamoshida. Well, now that we’ve got a nice variety of food on our plates, let’s head back to the others.

Music: Alright



Ann has now eaten a whole pie offscreen. What the hell.

Whaddya think about comin’ up against such ritzy food?



I was thinkin’ that too, but take a bite. Usin’ better ingredients makes stuff taste way different!
Look at you, acting like you have a refined palate all of a sudden.
Don’t you think you’re eatin’ too much, Mona?
There’s no knowing when we’ll get to come here again.
Sure, but you guys brought back loads of food… It’d be a shame to let it all go to waste. Why don’t you help them out, Ryuji?
We should both help.
Oh, me? I’m wayyy too stuffed! I couldn’t possibly help!
Yeah… stuffin’ your face with cake...





You are beginning to feel like your plate is a portal to the Buffet Dimension.

There’s still more…?
Don’t give up! Let’s keep at it!



Hey, we managed to eat everything, even that disgusting plate of garmonbozia Ryuji and Ann brought back.

My belt feels multiple sizes too small...
Y-Yeah… This is a victory… for all of us...



N-Not exactly...
Good job, you guys. How about one last dish to cleanse your palates? I recommend the seasonal tart! The grapefruit has both alluring sweetness and a tangy sourness!
Stop… I don’t wanna hear about sour stuff… *burp* This isn’t good… I gotta go to the bathroom...
M-Me too… Please… carry me gently...




They must not normally have the opportunity to eat such exquisite food.
I can only imagine what their parents must be like.



...Urp! We don’t got time for that… C’mon, let’s go...

Later...

Music: My Homie



I totally panicked when I saw the “Closed For Cleaning” sign at the bathrooms...
You were talking big about eating until you puked, but you really did puke… Are you some kind of moron?
Hey, same goes for you!



We came up to get here, so it has to be on a lower floor, right?



Music: Disquiet







N-Not yet...



I don’t care about your opinion, you incompetent buffoon! When I say pick up the pace, you do it!





We’re in a hurry.
Oh, I’m sorry. So you can butt in front of other people if you’re in a hurry?
It seems the customer base has changed since I was here last. Have they started a day care?
What?
Sir, we don’t have time for this.
I know.




Ryuji steps forward and is shoved by the man.



Don’t bother with them!




The men step into the elevator.

The hell was with that bossy guy?
Shouldn’t we head back down?
Yeah, but...



Don’t lose your temper over this.
I just can’t forgive shitty adults like that…!





I WONDER IF IT COULD BE THE SAME PERSON

NAH



...What’s wrong?



That’s just gonna make me worry more, y’know.
I bet it’s because he rarely eats well. I’m always stuck with canned cat food too…
Ugh, that “sir” bullshit makes me sick…! ...Dammit!

Music: Break it Down (Elp Version)




Why’re you all pissy…?
Sorry… I had a run-in with some woman a second ago. She bumped into me, but then said it was all my fault when she dropped her plate...
Sounds like a real bitch...
Yeah… Thanks though. But… the restaurant workers all looked at me with this disapproving expression… I wonder if we’re out of place here...



We’re right to be here, fuck these people.

…… Hey, Morgana.
What is it?
...Anyone could have a Palace, yeah?
Anyone with a strong, distorted desire.
Same for them havin’ a change of heart if their Treasure gets stolen?
That would be the case.
Why are you bringing this up all of a sudden?
We had trouble earlier too. These selfish shitheads who just looked down on everyone else… ...I was just wonderin’ if we’d be able to change those kindsa people too.



You mean… you want to continue as the Phantom Thieves?
...I’ve been thinkin’. We put a lot of work into changin’ Kamoshida’s heart, but nobody believes in the Phantom Thieves. Plus… those guys who had no other choice but to just deal with it are thankin’ us. Us, of all people.



I… I agree.



Well… that’s true. You’re under my tutelage. There’s nothing we can’t accomplish as phantom thieves!
Shouldn’t we be able to help ‘em out?

Music: Swear to My Bones



But it’s true that with that power, we may be able to help people out...
But… That means we’ll have to fight Shadows again, doesn’t it…?
Indeed. That can’t be avoided.
Eh, I’m sure we’ll manage. Right?



Heh… Even if you guys are still just fledglings, this means we’re an actual organization now.
Fledglings…? Haha, that’s actually pretty fitting for us.



We’re gonna catch all these shitty adults by surprise, and make ourselves known to the world!
...Are you OK being our leader?



No objections here! I can’t handle all that responsibility stuff.
Where’s my say in this…? But Lady Ann made the recommendation, so I’ll allow it.

I guess it’s Maaku by default, then.

Well, should we decide on a name for our group? I just went with Phantom Thieves of Hearts last time, but don’t you think a real name would be cooler?
Ooh, I’ve got it! I want it to be something both cute and luxurious sounding… Let me see… How about “The Diamonds”?
I’m gettin’ a real little league baseball feel from it.
Well, then, here’s my suggestion. How about “Tilefish Poele”?
Tile… what?
That’s what I ate earlier. It’s commemorative, no?
Hell no, you idiot! Ugh, you decide for us...



Time to pick a name for our group, which means it’s time for another vote!



Blah, blah, don’t just make it your Social Security number.



guys please don’t enter any curse words or my mom will take away my xbox



We’ve got 12 characters to work with here. It doesn’t need to start with “the,” but it should ideally be pluralized or not require pluralization. If you run out of space, I’ll still accept it, but it’ll probably look weird, just saying.